2 weeks home...what is life like?

I think I missed the last blog post about the fact that we are home now! Sometime maybe I'll fill in on all of those details, but for now I feel like blogging about the present (for once).

Looking back even though our 9 weeks in country was extremely stressful and our days were filled with adoption paper chasing, I can see now that the time together was special and it was great to have that time to bond and attach before coming home.

One of the things we knew we wanted to do after coming home was to keep their world small. We are staying close to home, having no visitors inside the house, and letting them see that we are their primary caretakers. For so long they have missed out on these things that our biological children have always known. They have security in knowing that there is always food and a bed to sleep on and a mommy and daddy that is always here. So for now, we are the only ones that bathe them, we are the only ones that feed them, and we are the only ones that they are allowed to hug or kiss. Basically no one besides us should be meeting their basic needs. All of this seems so extreme, but it's really not when we think about where they came from, a very hard place.

Jen Hatmaker has a really good blog post called "after the airport" where she talks about their transition coming home and being a family. She says:

"If you are intrigued by the idea of adoption, with the crescendoing storyline and happy airport pictures and the sigh-inducing family portrait with the different skin colors and the feely-feel good parts of the narrative, please find another way to see God's kingdom come. You cannot just be into adoption to adopt; you have to be into parenting. And it is hard, hard, intentional, laborious work. Children who have been abused, abandoned, neglected, given away, given up, and left alone are shaken so deeply, so intrinsically, they absolutely require parents who are willing to wholly invest in their healing; through the screaming, the fits, the anger, the shame, the entitlement, the bed-wetting, the spitting, the rejection, the bone-chilling fear. Parents who are willing to become the safe place, the Forever these children hope for but are too terrified to believe in just yet."

So how AM I DOING? I'm remembering that God is with me in the madness and that He is for me, He is for us, and He loves adoption. We're expecting this first year to just be full of transition and this summer may always be known as the forgotten summer. So for now we hunker down in the house and remember that this time we're dedicating to all FOUR kids will be so worth it!

Coming to America... Almost

One of the daily sayings around the apartment lately is, "Go to America!". On Facetime the other night, Nana and Pops tried to help Simon and Rachael understand that they are coming to Texas, but I'm not sure it is sticking. All they remember from that conversation is that their Nana and Pops have a pool, so they just run around now, saying, "America. Nana. Pops. Swimma."

I think all six of us are excited about how close we are to coming home, though. Our adoption process has really picked up lately as the kids finally got their passports on Monday after a long 3-week wait. We immediately went to the IOM (International Organization for Migration) and scheduled their medical for the next morning. On Tuesday we took Simon and Rachael to the IOM for the kids' TB prick test. The kiddos did not like that needle one bit, but they took it all in stride. Keith returned to the IOM this morning for the results, and the kids passed their medicals with flying colors. When they first walked into the gates of the IOM today, both Simon and Rachael started moaning, and Keith couldn't figure out what was wrong until they pointed at their arms and pretended to give themselves a shot. Keith laughed and said they would not get any shots today, but they will get lots of shots when they come to America. I think he's just trying to rain on their America Parade a little bit.

Now that we have made it through the IOM, we are in the last phase of our Uganda visit, the US Embassy. We are hoping for an Embassy "Document Check" on Wednesday morning. Lately they are granting visa interviews same day, so it's possible we could finish up by Wednesday and pick up our visas on Friday, but we think it's more likely we will be doing our visa work around 4/28 or 4/30.

Please keep us in your prayers as we go into this final stage of our adoption process. This can be a very fast process and it can also drag on for several weeks. We were really missing home this week, but things got better when we realized the supermarket next to our apartment has Dr Pepper! We also visited Acacia Mall for lunch (AKA Galleria Kampala), and treated our driver, Ken, to lunch at KFC. Yummy American Fast Food!!!

Internet is not cooperating with us today, so sorry for no pics this time. :(

Daily Life in Kampala

Today is the start of an important week (we hope). Simon and Rachael's Ugandan passports could come in any day now and we can finalize our remaining documents. Passports are required for us to go to the International Organization for Medicine (IOM), where the kids will get their medicals. IOM takes about a week, and then we will be at the Embassy working on Visas.

In the midst of waiting, we wanted to share what our typical day looks like:

6:00AM Breakfast and Cartoons - Sometimes earlier, rarely later, one child will crawl into our bed. Before long, all four kids are crawling on us, forcing us awake and pleading with us to turn on cartoons and make breakfast. Simon and Rachael's first phrase in English was the theme song to Jungle Junction, so thank you Disney Junior for being such a great baby sitter while Mom and Dad get ready. We finally had enough oatmeal and cinnamon toast and recently hunted down some syrup and bacon for FRENCH TOAST!

9:00-11:00AM Controlled Chaos - By now, we are typically dressed, cartooned out and full. But are driver doesn't come until around 11 on most days, so we look for any way to keep the kids relatively quiet and entertained. We pull out every trick in the hat from schoolwork, coloring, flashcards, dance parties, and whatever little games we can dream up.

11:30-2:30AM Out on the Town - This is when we do our grocery shopping, kick the ball in the park, walk around Acacia Mall/indoor play gym, or go to a local market. Yesterday we took the kids to their first theater to see Rio 2. This morning, Simon woke up and made a huge rectangle with his arms and said "MOVIE!" We also go to lunch during this time which is typically our big meal of the day. We have tried many places, but hands down our favorites are The Cafesserie (Acacia Mall) and Café Javas (has the park out back). We will probably check out the nicest and most expensive chicken restaurant (KFC) soon. A typical KFC meal here costs $10-12 and occupies the most prominent space at the entrance to the Acacia Mall, which is Kampala's version of Domain/Galleria. Last week our apartment manager invited us to her son's birthday party which was really fun for everyone, until Keith got dragged into a dance contest.


3:00-5:00PM Swim Time (Swimma) - On the way back to the apartment after lunch, the kids are usually begging to go swimming, which has been our safe haven almost every afternoon. Rachael can be heard saying Swimma! Swimma! But we know when we get to the pool she just walks around it looking in until Dad throws her in. Simon, Rachael and Will paddle around in their life jackets while Caroline dodges a bunch of non-swimmers trying to drag her under the pool. Our most exciting day happened when we had two of our non-swimmers decided to take their jackets off and jump in. Mom and Dad sit out beside the pool and do absolutely nothing. It's wonderful. Eventually the kids coax dad into the pool for some water wrestling.

5:00-7:00PM Dinner, Bath, and Bedtime - We quickly shuffle the kids through the showers and get them in pajamas before having a small bite to eat and start our bed time routine. We read the Jesus Storybook Bible or one of a few books we picked up here. All the books come from the UK, so the other night Caroline said, "What's a flat?" I love my little Texan. Without fail, lights are out by 7PM.

7:00-10:00PM RELAX! - During the week, Keith works remotely and Lauren chats with other families here encouraging one another and planning next steps in the paperwork process. During the weekends, we'll watch movies on the laptop. This Saturday, Keith snuck out with our driver (Ken) and another adoptive dad for a 10PM showing of Captain America. This was Ken's first introduction to the Marvel Comic movies, and it was an awesome movie.

Legal Guardians!

Last Wednesday we found out that we got a favorable ruling in our case and we received legal guardianship of Rachael and Simon. This was a pretty big hurdle and it feels so good to have this part accomplished and know we are their parents!

We went in on Monday morning to pick up our attorney's assistant to go to passport office and then discovered the ruling was still not in their hands. This had us a little nervous, so Keith went back Tuesday morning to make sure it was moving along. The ruling was on their desk and they told us to head to the passport office and we were able to take care of this next major step. Now we will wait anywhere from 4 days to a month. Most passports come in around 2 weeks, so by the end of next week, we hope to have those taken care of. Then we will be working with the US Embassy to get the kids' visas and come home.

The biggest thing you could be praying for right now is the language barrier, along with quick passports. Simon is picking up English pretty well, but because they are together, they tend to defer to their native language, so we expect them to be a little slower to learn language. However, today at dinner, Simon wanted to know what he was eating and he said, "What is this, Mommy?" That was his first big phrase.They've experienced so much change recently that I'm sure for them being able to hang on to their language is comforting.

I'm sure I have a better family picture, but right now I'm just trying to post what I can find.

Love you all!

progress

We completed one major hurdle today and that was court. We probably can't share too much details over this space, but we really liked our judge. She was very thorough, which we really appreciated. We spent about 2 hours in the judge's chamber and are expecting our ruling in the next 1-2 weeks.

Afterwards we were off to lunch and then Keith took all four kids swimming (clap clap).

"R" peed on Keith for the second time...at dinner w/friends. We probably spend half of our day just taking kids to the potty. Potty is "kesesa" in their native language. They are teeny tiny and "R" has to go all.day.long.

We are thankful for their affection. Today "R" told me "I love you...so much." They are slowwwwly picking up English. This has probably been the biggest obstacle.

Hope to write more later. It's about 9:30 and I'm pooped.

Love you guys!

Moving Day

Today is our first day in our new apartment in Kampala. Emmaus had a large group coming to stay which forced a change, so we opted for an apartment over another guest house and so far it is great. We are in a 2 Bed/2 Bath apartment, fully furnished, with daily housekeeping and laundry which will make things easier on us. The kids only care about the fact that it HAS A POOL! It does miss the guest house charm and we really enjoyed interacting with the Emmaus staff. We also liked the grassy areas where we spent a lot of time just sitting under trees and visiting with the security guard or groundskeeper. One time, I looked over at the security guard sitting in the shade, and Will was sitting next to him just chatting away about who knows what. Will would catch me eyeing him and smile and go right back to his conversation with his new friends, Aaron and Ositi.

Leo, the groundskeeper would enjoy multiple unannounced visits from us each day with a frantic look on our faces and a child in our hands who was desperate to communicate. Leo was the only worker at Emmaus from the same region of Uganda as R and S, so he really bonded with them well and was a huge help in our efforts to overcome the language barrier. Today we had a huge breakthrough when R came over to S to share her banana with him and he said "Thank you" in English and she responded, "You are Welcome". Now we just have to get Caroline and Will to stop talking in their language. They love to see R & S perform the four to five songs and dances that they've learned. We have them on video and these kids have rhythm. Yesterday as we were driving around, R started singing the songs that our driver was playing on CD. We asked him what the CD was about, and he said it's a gospel CD. We thought that was so cool that the kids loved singing songs about Jesus. On the flip side, they think it's hilarious when we all hold hands at the dinner table and pray together, so we may have to go pay Leo one more visit and get him to explain that we are praying. :)

We are sorry for the lack of updates since our last post, but our court date did not happen on Monday, as planned. There was a miscommunication within the court on what day we were supposed to appear, so they rescheduled us for 9AM tomorrow (12AM Friday morning in TX). We are hopeful all will go well tomorrow and we'll have some positive news to share. There's a lot more to talk about, and know that we have a good Internet connection, we hope to share more on a regular basis.

Tomorrow is a big day!

We still haven't had a chance to use the laptop, hence why there are no pictures yet. Coming soon! So TOMORROW morning is our court date. We got bumped up a few days earlier. We will go before a judge and ask for legal guardianship of "S" and "R." After that we wait for a verbal ruling, written ruling, passports, visa medical, and visa exit interview.

The kids are all doing great. In fact, S and R could not fall asleep tonight bc they could not stop giggling. We are thankful bc it seems like attachment and bonding is going well. Of course, we know that we are probably in a bit of a honeymoon period right now and the pain of dealing with so much trauma and loss will come.

They have both said I love you already and are kissing us. This is a big step especially since Ugandans don't typically kiss (w/kids) unless they're more modern parents.

C and W seem to be handling it pretty well. There is one kiddo that I think struggles a bit more than the other. I'm sure they're going through a lot right now too. The kids have really been so sweet together.

So tomorrow pray for favor w/the judge! We most likely will know the results of case in 2 weeks or less.

Love you all!




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